heart of the matter
At the heart of the matter for a Salty Sister is her foundation in who’s she is. I’ve set the foundation in the first 4 post. I wanted to keep this simple because life is messy and we, I, tend to make it more complicated. I over analyze, which causes my worry gene to pop out! I can't share my story without acknowledging CHRIST. The ultimate goal here is to help you examine your heart and to see more of Him in your life. I have not put Him first 100% of the time and none of us will get it right 100% of the time. However that is not an excuse to not move forward towards Him. I’m not sharing to draw attention to myself. I am sharing to draw attention to CHRIST. I want you to feel understood even if our stories are completely different.
My 2 best childhood friends remain my Salty Sisters and yes God has brought new ones into my life through the different phases but these 2 have always been there. They know the best and worst of me. They are the encouragers of this blog. One asked “are we going to get real now?”… I laughed because in the setting of the foundation that is where the REAL PART is! Sister without Jesus the story doesn't matter. I want to encourage you to find your own Salty Sisters because as I pointed out early on… not everyone needs to know ALL YOUR STUFF, but yes, you do need those in your life that you can be competly real with. The ones that can hold you accountable, pray for you, listen to the cries of your heart and don’t judge you, but direct you back to TRUTH.
Listen, just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean you won’t have evil thoughts and actions! It’s freeing to have someone you can express that too. Get those real hurtful emotions out with someone who can be trusted. Confession brings to light what satan wants you to keep hidden. The bible is full of people crying out to God and yet we think we are supposed to have it all together, presenting this “Perfect Life”. The 3 of us have a quote from a country song printed on a mug that is not reflective of a child of God. However we know each other’s hearts. There is freedom in admitting the struggles and coming along side another and helping them walk in the direction that is pleasing to God. The heart of the matter is Jesus.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Do I understand why pornography, sexual addiction and an infidelty are part of my story… No, but I remember telling my husband I made a commitment to GOD not just him. We fought for our marriage through counseling and it helped till it didn’t. Counseling only helps as deep as you are willing to dig. Until the root issues are dealt with, they will continue to resurface in your marriage or in the next relationship. Do not let satan lead you to believe you are better off with someone else other than your spouse. I feel the need to say here that God will never call you out of your marriage to another persons spouse. NEVER. Marriage is sacred and we do not place the value on it like GOD intended for us to. If you have children please don’t assume they are going to have premarital sex or that viewing pornography is just a normal phase. FIGHT FOR THEIR PURITY. Does it mean they won’t engage in the world’s view of normal, no, but you will set the standard for them based not on your beliefs, but on GOD’S TRUTH. I have seen what is out there to destroy our children’s hearts and minds. No one is immune. I refuse to stand by and let satan feast on my family and friends. I have literally yelled at satan to leave my family alone. The yelling may make you feel better but action steps have to be taken no matter what any one else thinks. Take away the phones if needed, get rid of the tv if needed, put filters on your computers and phones. Do whatever it takes to help set guardrails for yourself and your family. Keep open honest communication with your kids and spouse. Go see a counselor. I have resources I can recommend such as Covenant Eyes and Pure Desire.
Think how different marriage would be if we kept ourselves pure till marriage and stayed committed to our spouse…the way God intended. His guardrails are not freedom blockers they are for us to live truly free! Please put in the hard work to deal with your “stuff”. The one who “stuffs it” is going to blow or break down one day and trust me it ain’t pretty! If you are given the opportunity to go to counseling, do the hard work of getting real, take it slow, put the effort in to get to the heart of the matter. For your sake and your families sake, because no one has it all together.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever! Psalms 73:26
Another big BUT GOD…No one wants to write a story with continued failures and disappointments, but when we use the wisdom gained from these times there is an unexpected upside. No, the life I have lived is not what I dreamt of playing with my Barbie Dream House with my best friend next door, know what, neither has hers, but we choose not to be bitter about the circumstances of our life’s. Admittedly we spent more time than we should complaining about seasons of it, (thus the mug mentioned above) but we have moved from the why to the what. This blog is part of what I pray God will use to bring into light some raw stuff that doesn’t always get talked about so you will be encouraged to seek God and find your own Salty Sisters that will point you to HIM.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Prov 4:23
Salty Sister you can’t create a thirst for something that isn’t flowing in you, let’s get to the heart of the matter. He will create a clean heart in us if we ask. Go for the ask and get salty!
